Lockdown Living (P.1)
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
10th December, 2020 ... Ho, Ho ... Ho
So it’s approaching a year since Corona Virus spread its way throughout our world, changing the state of all our lives, irrevocably maybe…
Here’s a list of things I wanted to achieve whilst in lockdown:
1. Get fit (by fit I mean as skinny as a bulimic model)
2. Start life drawing
3. Develop my love of cooking (eating)
4. Write an album
5. Become an up and coming YouTube sensation
7. Start making my own tote bags
8. Become someone who owns Japanese Peace Lilly’s
List of things I actually achieved:
1. Gained at least 500 stone
2. Drew one picture of my own vulva – got so horrified by the thought of how many men have seen my knee length labia’s (17) cried, tore it up and had a bath.
3. Developed my love of eating huge tubs of hummus and pitta bread and realised, if paired with some olives, feels like your basically Gordon Ramsey with minimal effort.
4. Guitar continues to gather dust other than one ‘Gabrielle’ cover of ‘I’ll Rise’ – a few likes on Facebook has satisfied my ego for the next 6 – 8 months.
5. Also posted the same video to YouTube – so that covers that.
6. Tried to make comic videos taking the piss out of people and skills that I could never be or never possess – a meditation tutorial was one of those – close enough.
7. Looked at a video of a skinny blonde girl making tote bags and eating avocados but realised I didn’t own any of the key materials so bought a bag for life from Tesco. (Such an amazing feeling to be saving the planet)
8. Bought 3 peace lilies – killed … 3.
... Merry Christmas.